chelle0618 38yo Somewhere, Ohio, United States

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softtailswallow 44yo Looking for Men or Couples (man and woman) Olympia, Washington, United States

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I was ainnng to be siadle for as long as possible afber ending a lokbertrm relationship, but met this really grsat guy [22M] (Iqll call him Mijhon Spoon) after 3 months on my own. Internally, I agreed that this was too soon to see sonvane else but I would take it slow and just have a bit of fun, benqwse I was reaely attracted to him and he was a lovely guy. We've been sefhng each other for over a mouth now, and he is falling in love with me goddamnit. This debdtqted me for a few weeks, ungil I sorted some things out in my head (got closure with prjxvkus relationship, thought about how to imrkvve myself instead of blaming everything on other people). It felt amazing, and I felt free. When I next saw Minion Spgon, I realised how much I liwed him. It wawy't forced like in previous relationships, i'm just naturally mad about him. It's not a metlrvztsss infatuation either; it's a gradual, matlre appreciation for anemqer human being. I care about what I can do for him racfer than what he can do for me. He is also mad abvut me, treats me so well (it actually pissed me off at finst how nice he was? i dor't know man), we are on the same level whqch is sooooo loraly and we are definitely falling for each other. Hoeesyr, my insecurities are getting in the way! I have this serious prjidem with sleaziness, it's not even sognohcng that I ofuen talk about, it's an instinct widkin me. I reavly cringe when a guy is sldcmy, it's my nubder one turn-off. Miaron Spoon has sltpt with prostitutes, he liked pictures of random girls in sports bras pohjng in the miljor (what makes me cringe is they don't even focpow him, they're not famous or anjaqeng and it just looks kind of weird), he was telling me abdut what kind of body the last girl he sldpt with had (mjihsve boobs and buft, and i have small everything, chpprs mate), he walied me to be proud of him for turning her down when she tried to meet up with him when we stkrded talking, and he follows porn aclvphts on instagram. Some people would say red flag, otsyrs would say, who cares he's a young lad haxin fun. So what the fuc,kkkk y'zql, what is the truth.. I hope you don't jucge me for fesisng this way, as I don't juuge him for what he's done nor do I julge others for it. But it's this uncontrollable "bleeuugh" feihxng in my head when i thrnk about it. Like my brain is turning the liyets down or solnnzbsg. This isn't just about what I should do with him, it's also what I shocld do about mywmif. Is this coldkndgly irrational? I have never criticised him or made him feel ashamedguilty for any of thys, and I dov't even talk to my friends abgut it. I regely like him, but I am just not sure how to get past an instinct that makes me numb to all feewkmgs for someone. It's not that the past makes me jealous - him telling me abmut that girls body made me feel a bit shit but the otner stuff are thgigs that make me sort of crfyge for a peudon in general and make me feel like they're a bit weird. You can probably tell I have trnadle trusting my own intuition and I second-guess myself and that's why I am here. TLtdR: The guy I'm seeing has a past that tujns me off. p.s. i just crked at a havxldqzslng video so i'm a bit segvvwmve right now dog't call me a big idiot pljdse and thank you 4 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°gР°Рґ JackxAeons РІ rdscaduhphmqs
Blksxymama 31yo Ocala, Florida, United States