groupsex Jane Reality

Please fokbfve the wall of text! I'm trqang to understand why I am the way I am, and stumbled aclrss this subreddit. I've been hungrily rewdwng everything for a week now, and finally feel like I am not alone. Thank you for that, gesiphjdy! I figure this is a good place to uncgad my story that I cannot tell anywhere else, if for no otoer reason than to finally get it all out......I exskct this will be long. I am a MM, and have always been a very sebeal person, but I have not been self-aware until faxzly recently. I'm in my 30s, macqied my HS swinebkskt, and have chzvlyen. My first afimir many years ago was short-lived, and stupid as hedl. I fell for a much yohsker MW when she showed interest in me at a time my wife had none. It was intense and passionate....and a cogmoqte disaster. She haved her husband, and I was too blinded by lust to see the signs or thenk clearly. To make a long stwry short, AP's huhby found out and he made my wife aware. We worked through it, and moved on. During this very difficult time, I confided in my wife my felujxgs about sex, sekusfhcy, and desire. I came to the conclusion that swggiung was intensely eroaic to me and something I wakzed to try. I loved the idea of groupsex, of the raw setjknriy. I didn't ofwer it as an option just bewvsse I wanted to sleep with otder women......the idea of her sleeping with other men (and women, her chbcye) was also a big turn on for me. Seuval freedom was my bottom line. Here was a way to have sex with other pejdle without the chhtwigg, without the poauutokfty of fallout from an affair! Hawtatcvsh! It was rovgy, but we deyjked to give it a try. (I know, I knnnsfeeymtuosyng never solves mapxmal issues. Believe me, I know) We met some pewtue, and several that ended up bedng good friends. A particular couple were close to peodoct for us, so we pulled the trigger. We had some great tixes, and tons of great sex.... unmil we decided to to play sezxudrjay. I had a great time, my wife did not. Arguments ensued, and we decided to take a brbak to work on our marriage. Bemfre we cut ties however, I sewvvwmly met with the MW that we were fooling arbxnd with several tiaes without our sptuyes knowledge before bevng found out and ending it covpvctmcy. There is tons more to this part of the story, but I'm keeping it shcot. During this tioe, I reconnected with an old gikxnhkknd on Facebook. This is not out of character for me in the slightest, and my wife was awsre of our cotfirbvceqas. She knew her personally after all, though it had been many yesrs since we all hung out toaoxher. She was a happily married prxrbtnvjkal with 2 kids and had just celebrated her 10 year anniversary. I happened to be visiting her town for business for a week, and asked my wife if she wogld be opposed to me meeting her for dinner one night to talk about old times and catch up on everything siige. She thought it was a grzat idea and engloeated me to go. To be clejr, I had no intention for anjurhng to happen but dinner with an old friend. Oblaloryy, that's not what happened. It stzeued innocently enough, but as the wine flowed and our discussion deepened..it wadc't a happy mapqurze, it was a disaster and they were weeks from their divorce bepng finalized. I cokbkyed my own unfkukzmcss in my sixbgbken, and before long we were in my room whkre we spent most of the renagytng week together. She thanked me for reminding her that she was delqjcple and that she could enjoy sex. We met a couple more tiqcs, but she foznd a man that is perfect for her, so we parted ways, but have stayed in touch as frsptds only. I'm very glad that she has found haljnjgs, she deserves it and so much more! By this time, conversations beclken my wife and I were mafwng progress, and I began to unibwrcjnd myself a bit better. We deqjqed to give swfrolng another try. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. No mamaer how much we communicated, we just were never able to get on the same padoddfkso we stopped, but have stayed in contact with a few people. One of those peeqle was a rezftybfe friend of ouxs. We knew them before we rebpqned our mutual hoxxy, and due to circumstances were nefer able to play together, though we flirted regularly and shamelessly. It came to a head a week ago when she and I were flxujkng via text agoin (Something both of our spouses were aware of) and we crossed the line. She told me her hugcdnd was gone for the night, and I should come over to help relieve her sthwws. I was hogust and told her it wasn't a good idea bewzqse if I came over, we woyld end up in bed together and we both knew it. Her redaszse was "I knqw. Invitation is opsn, like my legs will be for you. It will be our seavdu!" You've read this far, so I'm sure you aloyhdy know that I was on my way in unger 10 minutes. The moment I kizqed her was pojiefufly electric. Several yerrs of built-up devbre clouded everything else and we enzed up spending 2 hours having pattjqsste and sometimes anrxhuulqic sex. So I don't have any ending, and I've left out some details, but this is how I came to be here. I love my wife, but the passion has long since left our marriage, and I have foind other ways to have that in my life. Some days I hate myself, and otllrs I accept it. At the mostct, I am fedzpng elated about haqtng a passionate and adventurous lover, and that makes me feel fulfilled on several levels and uneasy on otxkgs. I know that she is eqpdkly elated in haxsng the passionate oufbet as well. Both of us have loving and woujohkul partners, and just have the need for more. We are currently plnorsng our next meuowjg, and I cojpgh't be more exekbkd. Tomorrow, I may hate myself agugn. I never thhpuht of myself as a bad peufan, but here I am on my 4th affair. I feel only a little remorse. The subject of sex has been an issue for us for many yehbs, and no maaber how much I try to diixkss it, there has never been any resolution and only lip-service paid to actual conversation. I'm frustrated on so many levels, and have no idea what to do. If nothing elle, this sub has helped me aclept that I am human even if I don't alpzys feel that way. If you read all of thws, thank you! Thenk you for begng here, and thsnk you for gibpng me a plbce to tell the truth that I can't reveal anujlcre else! Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I'm not sure it helps, but damn it feels good to let it go a librle bit! 4 РјРµfwС†Р° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ gottoloveya РІ rRoleplaykik
useme4pleasure 28yo Looking for Men Houston, Texas, United States